This post has been sitting in my drafts for quite a while waiting to be finished. It’s over a year late in being published…but better late than never! I started this post in June 2023 for reference. Enjoy.
I never thought this would be a five part series. I only expected to write four of these. One for each year of medical school. But as life would have it, it never truly goes as you plan. So my friends, after an extra unexpected year of medical school, we finally wrapped up the medical school chapter of our journey. As of May 19, 2023, Blade is a newly minted physician! M.D. Doctor. Surgeon in training! I couldn’t be more proud of him!
June 26th, Blade started his training as a general surgeon at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. We feel extremely blessed to have Matched at such a phenomenal program and one that seems to just fit Blade and our family. Getting to this point has been quite the wild ride. But as we’ve been settling in the past few months into our new home (We bought a home! Yay, for being first-time homebuyers!), I can’t help but feel the confirmation that this all was part of God’s plan for us. As sad and as hard as it was to leave our community and family we built in Rochester, we were meant to end up here. He has something instore for us that we can only find and do in Jacksonville, Florida.
Now, I would have loved to get here the easier way and match the first time round. But there was purpose in not matching as well. Lessons we needed to learn, people we needed to meet/grow closer to, and eventually end up where we needed to be for residency.
Year one as a med school wife was probably more challenging than year two, and year three as a med school wife came with it’s own unique sets of personal challenges. The end of year four flipped our world upside down after we found out that we very unexpectedly went unmatched and did not secure a PGY1 or intern year position in medical residency program.
The end of year four and most of year five as a med school wife proved to be one of the hardest years of medical school and quite possibly since we’ve been married. It came with a mixture of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Here’s a quick recap.
YEAR FIVE RECAP
I left off at the end of year four. Blade had completed his first away rotation – actually at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. This rotation counted as an away rotation and his general surgery sub-internship so he could apply to general surgery for the upcoming Match cycle on top of orthopedic surgery.
He came back to support his classmates at graduation, which was hard to watch. We snuck in a trip to Orange Beach, AL for a family reunion and said our goodbyes at the airport as he was off again for another away rotation.
Our summer and fall was full of “Where is Dad?”, “When is Dad coming home?”, “I miss Daddy.” There were a few sweet reunions and hard goodbyes.
Blade rotated in Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Kentucky, and Arkansas. Each rotation was 4 weeks long. He was going to go to South Dakota but we decided to drop that away in the end. We got to see him a few times in between it all. He expressed how lonely it was, but was grateful for all he learned.
On my end, I stayed as busy as possible while trying to stay sane through single parenting for essentially 6 months. I trained for and competed in the Level Up Games, participated in the Firewomen Expo, went to Burn Boot Camp EVERY day, trained for and completed my first half marathon, and spent time with my kiddos and friends. While I tried to stay busy, I also felt very alone and often like I was drowning. But how grateful I am for my family at Burn, Auntie Grace, my mom friends, and my church family.
On October 23, after a very long 6 months of back and forth, months apart, lonely nights, and long days…Blade was finally HOME! To say we were all happy was an understatement. We can both finally felt we could breathe as that season of life was behind us and we faced the future with faith and together in the same city! He even drove through the night to make it home in time to cheer me on for my half marathon.
Second Half of Year Five
Residency applications were officially submitted end of September, so from November to March we…
- Interviewed for residency in late November through early February.
- Rotated with some surgeons here at Mayo to keep up skills and continue learning
- Finished graduation requirements
- Enjoyed family time
- Blade got to go to the gun range and get back in the gym
- Late November, we found out I was pregnant with baby #3
- Worked on pack up our house (we knew we would be moving from the house even if we Matched to Rochester’s General Surgery Program).
- Mentally prepped for the Match, a potential move across states, and all that comes with that
- Both of us worked part-time to save up more money for the transition to residency. Me as a swim instructor and the front desk at Burn Boot Camp. Blade at Nanodropper.
- Began to say our goodbyes…
Match Day
On the Monday of Match Week, we found out we officially Matched! Here’s what I wrote:
“WE FREAKING MATCHED!!! After an extremely hard year after not matching in 2022…The loneliness, the single parenting for 6 months, the countless away rotations, the sacrifice and hard work on all parts…WE MATCHED!!! AND WE ARE SO HAPPY!!! After 4 years of undergrad and 5 years of medical school, we are on to the next phase! 5 years of Residency! Blade is going to be a surgeon! And a stellar one at that! To say I am so so proud of him, is an understatement! I’m proud of us!! We find out where we will be spending the next five years of residency on Friday! That being said, as we know from experience, this day is not always happy for everyone. If you find yourself or know someone that has not matched this year, please know that my DMs are open! We are an open book to our experience and sometimes it’s just helpful to have someone who knows what it feels like to chat with. Sending love to all you Match Day Waiters!”
Matched Day came and we were full of nerves and excitement, but also peace. Me and Blade attended the Match Day celebrations while our kiddos were being watched by our neighbor/at school. We thought about bringing them both, but we wanted to be able to truly enjoy and be in the moment. They would come to graduation when we would have help from grandparents.
After remarks from speakers and receiving his Match letter results, the countdown began and Blade and I both were antsy with excitement! As soon as we could, Blade tore open the envelope! We found out we would be switching snow for sand! We matched to our number one choice, Jacksonville, Florida in General Surgery at the Mayo Clinic.
The journey was long to get here. But we did it!
Graduation
Graduation finally came. Here’s what I wrote on Graduation to Blade:
“You did it!! After five grueling years, you now officially have earned those two extra letters to your name! To say I am proud of you is a massive understatement. After every trial thrown your way, you have taken it in strides and with grace. You have sincerely learned from your patients and mentors. You have thrown your FULL self into this journey. Year after year. All the while you have also been a stellar husband and Dad. You are going to be a phenomenal physician and surgeon! We love you! You did it! And as Hazel said, ‘YAY DADDY!!!'”
Here are some of the photos and videos we snapped on graduation day…
Goodbyes are Hard
We wrapped up year five by prepping, packing, and moving to Jacksonville, FL. We said many tearful goodbyes to friends who became family over the past five years. My heart truly aches knowing what an amazing community and family we are leaving.
It was an end to a beautiful, challenging, and soul-stretching chapter. And on to a new chapter for residency in Jacksonville, FL. How grateful I am that I’ve documented our med school journey as a family over the years. It truly has made me appreciate all the highs, lows, change, and growth!
Thank you Rochester, Minnesota for being so good to us!
A FEW LESSONS LEARNED DURING YEAR FIVE
Surround Yourself with Your People
Last year (2022), from May-Oct Blade was doing away rotations in various states (here in Jacksonville, NC, VA, KY, AR). Each one was a month long. These were to prepare for his application for a surgical residency. This left me with two kids and a dog, single parenting it in Rochester. Gratefully during the summer months. I considered it a boot camp in preparation for the next five years of residency where Blade will be working 80 or more hours a week.
Everything was on me. Doc appointments, school drop offs/pick ups, going to church, breaking up fights, bedtime, sleepless nights, soothing nightmares, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack after snack after snack. I often felt like I was drowning. I was lonely and rarely got to tap out.
My family couldn’t come help because my parents were serving a mission in Canada and my four older sisters all have kids with busy schedules and all live in Utah and Idaho. So one thing I tried to do was surround myself with people I could rely on.
These people came in the form of the community I had worked to surround myself with. Our church family, other mamas that were close friends that we called ourselves the breakfast club, the sister missionaries, and especially my gym friends who I saw every day. They listened, supported, celebrated, cried with, and loved me through those six months of single parenting.
Be aware of who you surround yourself with and work to build that community and culture of love.
Being Intentional with Your Communication
Between the trial of not Matching (and all the emotions that came with that), add in the long distance for half the year, and the intenseness (is that a word?! haha) of the medical journey… We found it was really important to be intentional with our communication. We could definitely tell when we weren’t being intentional and things felt distant, strained, and lonely.
I wrote a blog post about 5 Ways to Stay Connected During Away Rotations from what we learned during that time. Hope it can help you too!
Increased Capacity in Times of Trial
I truly believe that there is no way I or Blade would have been able to get through this last year without the divine aid of our Heavenly Father. While we had a difficult time understanding why we didn’t Match, and at times were quite angry because of it, looking back I can see God’s hand in our lives during that time.
This quote has always been a favorite of mine, but it kept coming to my mind throughout the last year.
“God does not begin by asking our ability, only our availability, and if we prove our dependability, He will increase our capability.” -Neal A Maxwell
Often times I felt like I was failing as a mom and at a loss of how to support my spouse during this intense trial he was personally facing. I was overwhelmed and overstimulated. What’s new? haha… But I think God wanted me and my family to just do our best and He would do the rest. He consecrated my efforts, Blade’s efforts, and my kids efforts. Thus, increasing our capabilities to handle this season of trial.
I know the Lord will continue to guide us through our lives and increase our capabilities to handle what is to come.
Your Challenges Now Prepare You for the Next One
If there’s anything that medical school has taught me, as the non-medical spouse, is that each challenged we faced, prepared us for the next one around the corner. It just seemed like one thing after another was thrown at us. Adjustment to medical school, babies, parenthood, moving from family, cancer, birth trauma, solo parenting, hard rotations, not matching, a gap year, and so much more…
Each of these challenges proved to me just how resilient we were becoming and that God surely was preparing us for each subsequent challenge that would be coming our way. Including residency. Which will surely bring unique challenges on its own.
So, here’s to our first year of RESIDENCY at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida! PGY1 here we come! Below are the order of services Blade will be on for intern year.
- GS1 (aka foregut)
- GS2 (aka surgical oncology)
- Vascular
- Colorectal
- Vascular
- GS1
- GS2
- Colorectal
- ICU
- ICU
- ACS (aka Acute Care Surgery)
- Hepatobiliary
- GS2
More on the Med School Wife
YEAR THREE AS A MED SCHOOL WIFE
YEAR FOUR AS A MED SCHOOL WIFE
