We are officially in year three of medical school! Today is the first day of clinical rotations. How has time gone by so fast? I can’t believe we are already half way through our med school journey. Year one as a med school wife was probably more challenging than year two. But I still learned quite a bit during Year Two as a Med School Wife.
YEAR TWO RECAP
First year was all about the basics. Second year was taking that information and applying it to the organ systems. Blade said year two seemed more clinically relevant because he was finally making connections to help him understand what was wrong with patients and the course of action that should be taken.
Classes were focused on organ blocks and the Reach Clinic (a free student-run clinic) where Blade and his fellow med students worked with patients and physicians one-on-one.
Organ blocks went as follows:
- Neuroscience
- Psychiatry
- Cardiology
- Pulmonology
- Musculoskeletal
- Hematology
- Renal
- Urinary
- Endocrine
- Gynecology
- Gastroenterology
On the home front, we got pregnant with a baby boy, celebrated our daughters second birthday, traveled to Utah for Christmas, and drove to and from Arkansas twice. I also worked two part-time jobs. Oh, and don’t forget about studying and taking Step 1! If you want to read about that fiasco, check out The Uncertainty of Step 1 Amid COVID-19.
After he took Step 1, we got a glorious month and a half of just Blade. He did do some research, worked on projects here and there, and had preclinicals to tune into online because of COVID — BUT we got to spend extra time with him. Hazel especially loved it!
Third year will be about clinical rotations, gaining and mastering clinical skills, and applying everything learned thus far.
THREE THINGS I LEARNED DURING YEAR 2
Reflecting back on the year, there are three main things I learned during my second year as a med school wife.
- Build a routine and then be flexible.
- Prioritize your mental health.
- A great support system is key.
BUILD A ROUTINE AND THEN BE FLEXIBLE
My routine throughout second year saved me.
Wake up. Send Blade off to school. Eat. Get ready. Walk Tucker while listening to a podcast. Drop Hazel off at the gym’s child care. Work. Hit the gym. Shower. Pick up Hazel. Go home. Lunch. Nap time. Work while she sleeps. Free time with Hazel. Blade comes home. Cook dinner together. Family time. Put Hazel down for bed. Couple time. Study/work time. Bed. Repeat.
We weekly planned on Sunday evenings and held a money date once a month to check in.
This basic routine did a few things for me.
1. It allowed me to be flexible and learn independence.
It allowed me to be flexible and learn independence. A few days a week I would switch it up. We’d eat lunch with Blade on campus or do breakfast with friends. I also wasn’t afraid to make trips to the lake, the nature center, or the park with or without friends. During the evenings when Blade was on campus late for various commitments, we’d make it a point to bring him dinner or drop in to say hi.
In the medical journey, I think it’s crucial to be flexible. Sometimes we’d have plans to meet up for lunch or do something together, but it would fall through because a meeting would come up or he’d need more time to study for an upcoming test. I had to create an attitude of flexibility. If things didn’t work out, it was ok. Sure, sometimes it was disappointing or frustrating, but we would figure it out and it wasn’t the end of the world. This attitude of flexibility will benefit me this year as a med school wife especially with clinical rotations and on into the future. I’m sure I will have to relearn it all again as we face new challenges.
2. Predictable Schedule
While it allowed me to be flexible, it also created a predictable schedule for my daughter and I. It kept us both sane through the colder months (thank you Minnesota) and get the work done I needed to for my part-time job with the Married to Doctors Podcast. I did pick up a second part-time job at Nanodropper too so things got a bit more complicated with balancing time. I also could easily do the chores I needed to keep the house in order (most of the time haha).
3. Maintain Mental Health
A routine helped me stay on top of my mental health and be aware of when I was struggling with my mental health. Keeping busy, active, and social through my routine helped me stay positive. It also helped me focus on one task at a time on the days I was struggling. It got me out of the house and moving, which is often the hardest part.
That leads perfectly into the next lesson I learned this year….
PRIORITIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Around the end of November I began to experience some perinatal depression. I was about six or so weeks into my pregnancy. It felt all too familiar as I struggled with postpartum depression after I had my first. Back in 2018, I really should have sought help and looked into medication, but I thought I was fine. I thought it would go away and I could handle it.
Boy, was I wrong.
I don’t have very fond memories of the first six months to a year of my daughter’s life. They are there. But the pain, darkness, and anger is what I remember more.
This time, I knew I needed to seek help. This time, I would work to accept what was happening to me. This time, I would talk seriously with my doctor and my husband about it. This time, I would explore multiple options. This time, I wanted to prioritize my mental health. This time, I wanted to be proactive. This time, it would be different.
I wrote about my experience and decision to start Zoloft and see a therapist in my blog post Today Won’t Last Forever.
I am happy to report that I’ve been taking Zoloft and seeing my therapist for the past four months. I’ve put into place things that help me prioritize my mental health. I try to talk more openly with family, friends, and other moms who are struggling with depression. Outdoor time a priority. I strive to pray more fervently and connect with God in different ways. I know there are quite a few other things I could do that would make a difference too, but I am trying to give myself grace and take a few small steps forward at a time.
Prioritizing your mental health (whether or not you struggle with some type of depression and anxiety) can play a significant role in your happiness level, especially during the medical journey
A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM IS KEY
The simple fact is that your tribe and support system can make all the difference during a challenging season.
At the end of March, Blade’s last organ block was moved to online and we faced the uncertainty of what would happen next. Everything was being shutdown because of the pandemic and Minnesota would soon be on a stay-at-home order. Our plans for Step 1 dedicated study were completely turned upside down.
The school officially told the students that they would not be allowed to study at the school because it wouldn’t be considered essential travel. Plus, the library and every other place he could have possibly used to study was closed.
The idea of Blade trying to have focused, quiet study at home with a busy and needy toddler and a socially isolated wife…well let’s be honest…it wouldn’t have worked very well for any of us.
So, after carefully weighing our options, pros, cons, and risks we decided to make a 10-hour drive to Arkansas to stay with Blade’s family at the end of March. You can read more about the INSANE rollercoaster we had because of COVID and Prometric here — The Uncertainty of Step 1 Amid COVID-19.
What I learned through this crazy experience this past spring is that you you truly need to learn to accept help and rely on your support system.
Your Med School Support System
This looks different for everyone. It could be family, friends, fellow medical significant others, neighbors, classmates, church groups, online groups, and others.
I was pregnant, working two jobs, and taking care of a toddler and dog. I had lost my childcare/gym time because our gym had closed. So there went a good hour or more of work time each day. Plus, I didn’t want to be totally alone for six or more weeks while Blade studied. This was just one of the reasons we decided to go to Arkansas to stay with his family. By asking for and relying on my family’s help, I was able to keep up with my workload and strengthen bonds with my husband’s side of the family.
We also were overwhelmed with the love and support from others. Family, friends, and members of our church who prayed for us that Blade’s Step 1 exam would go through. Neighbors who let us park our car in their driveway while we were gone and who also picked up our mail as we had to keep pushing our travel dates back further. And even friends who broke into our house to overnight Blade more of his diabetic supplies since we would be extending our stay by four or more weeks!
The point is that isolating yourself and pushing through the grind is not the best option as a med school wife, husband, fiance, boyfriend, or girlfriend. It’s not smart and it’s not responsible. As a significant other of a medical student, resident, or physician, it is crucial to seek out help. Creating that support system is key to not only surviving but thriving in the medical journey.
On to Year Three
First and second year are in the books. We are excited to see what year three brings us! There is lots to look forward to… Baby, clinicals, choosing a specialty, and who knows what else!
Here is what’s next for us when it comes to clinical rotations…
- OBGYN
- Anatomy TA
- Family Medicine
- Surgery
- Neurology
- Internal Medicine
- Pediatrics
- Psychiatry
Here’s to our third year of medical school at the Mayo Clinic Alix School of Medicine!
[…] one as a med school wife was probably more challenging than year two, and year three as a med school wife came with it’s own unique sets of personal challenges. The […]