This guest post is from Sarah, a fellow medical wife. Her husband recently finished medical school at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Canada. They are beginning a residency in pediatrics at Memorial University in Newfoundland. When I reached out to Sarah about sharing her words of wisdom after finishing medical school, she was more than happy to pass on her tips in hopes of helping someone else on this crazy medical journey. Enjoy!
To the med student wife:
So, your hubby realized his dream and got into med school! Congratulations. This is a huge accomplishment so celebrate and enjoy. Then get ready for four of the hardest years of your life.
Here are 10 pieces of advice
1. Isolating yourself and refusing help is not strength. It is pride. Learn to accept help. When you do, you will find your life feeling blessed beyond belief.
2. “It’ll all be worth it in the end.” Repeat until you believe it. Repeat every time the thought, “this is so hard” comes into your head.
3. Take advice sparingly. Very few people will understand your life as a med student wife. This road you are walking is unique, especially if you’re also raising babies. So, when your FB friend Karen or your great-aunt Becky come out of the woodwork to give you friendly advice, just say “thank you”, take what you need, and leave the rest.
4. Pay for help. I know your budget is tight and money seems to be flying out the window, but if you let yourself run dry, no one benefits. Your hubby, your kids, the dream of med school are all served when you are taken care of. So, get a cleaner, pay for a meal service, have a babysitter come over so you can nap, get a massage, or wander around your favourite bookstore – whatever gives you some peace.
5. Don’t let judgey people in. Unless they’ve walked a day in your shoes, they don’t deserve to speak into your life.
6. Date nights. Make them happen. Book the sitter. Put on some mascara, put away the phone and to-do list and remember what it was like when you were first falling in love. ♥️
7. There are times when you are going to feel unappreciated and unloved as a med student wife. You’ll feel like your husband hasn’t looked at you in weeks. Remember he is going through daily criticism, testing and evaluation to the point that he doubts his capability, intelligence and life choices. It’s ok to remind him you need a bit of attention. See date nights above.
8. When he walks in the door, try dropping what you’re doing, wrapping your arms around his neck, looking into his eyes and telling him you are so proud of how hard he is working for your family and he’s doing a great job. A little appreciation goes a long way.
9. Your personal dreams and ambitions may have to wait. You can have it all. Just not all at the same time, sis.
10. You and your hubby are leaving a legacy for your children and their children and their children’s children. Doctors tend to run in families. If you’re a first generation doctor (we are), chances are good there will be some to come up after you. Little eyes are watching what it takes. Little people are being shaped by this struggle and sacrifice. So, like the navy seals say, “embrace the suck” or honour the struggle. You are shaping your family tree so make it a good one.
ABOUT SARAH
Adam and Sarah met 13 years ago while serving in the Royal Canadian Navy. After a whirlwind, long distance 11 month courtship, they were married and moved to Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Sarah is a Registered Nurse in the military and runs a skincare business from their home. You can connect with Sarah on Instagram, here. Adam was just awarded his Doctor of Medicine from Dalhousie University in Halifax. He is beginning his four year residency in pediatrics at Memorial University in Newfoundland this summer. Together, they are raising three children: Boone (5), Katy (3), and Mac (5 months).
More on The Med School Wife
THE SPOUSE’S ROLE IN INTERVIEWS AND MATCH DAY
So cool, Kristi! Thank you for allowing me to share here.
Thanks for sharing your tips and experience!
So refreshing to hear of other families going through similar challenges with medical school husbands. My husband just finished his first year of medical school. We have three kids – 7, 5, and 2. I had a difficult time adjusting the first few months, however, with much leaning on God for strength and trusting in his plan I have found peace in the struggles even in the midst of being blindsided by COVID. Thank you for sharing your stories to inspire and encourage others.
So refreshing to hear of other families going through similar challenges with medical school husbands. My husband just finished his first year of medical school. We have three kids – 7, 5, and 2. I had a difficult time adjusting the first few months, however, with much leaning on God for strength and trusting in his plan I have found peace in the struggles even in the midst of being blindsided by COVID. Thank you for sharing your stories to inspire and encourage others.
Thank you for your sweet comment Angela and sharing a piece of your story! First year is rough! Especially when trying to balance family. If you are interested in sharing your story, I’d love to have you be a guest writer like Sarah. I think many on this journey would benefit hearing from someone with a family! Hope all is well as you start second year! -Kristi