For the first time in a while, I felt blatantly and openly judged by a complete stranger. I wanted to cry and give the woman in the red lipstick a piece of my mind. But I was in public at the grocery store. Instead, I quietly ignored her and quickly went to grab the frozen juice that qualified on our WIC food voucher.
You see, since starting medical school, having a new baby, and virtually making no money (except the loans we took out) we were blessed to qualify for the WIC program (Women Infant and Children).
A Bit About WIC
WIC is often misunderstood. It is an amazing federal assistance program under the United State’s Food and Nutrition Service (FNS). According to the Minnesota Department of Health,
“WIC is a nutrition and breastfeeding program that helps young families eat well and be healthy. WIC can help:
- Pregnant woman learn about nutritious foods for a healthy pregnancy and birth.
- Support breastfeeding and help new moms meet their breastfeeding goals.
- Families provide nutritious foods to their young children so they are healthy, happy and ready to learn.
Each month I am given a couple vouchers for myself and my daughter. These vouchers outline specific foods I can buy based on what the WIC nutritionist and I discussed and what is found in the WIC shopping guide.
No, the program doesn’t just “give you free food”. Yes, you have to qualify for the program. Yes, it is for those with low-income. Yes, I have to go to multiple appointments to stay eligible. No, I can’t buy any food I want. Yes, we use it to buy baby food and a variety of healthy food for me.
To learn more about WIC, check out the FNS’s About WIC – WIC at a Glance page.
Back to the Grocery Store
I had gone to the store for some much needed groceries so it was quite a big food haul. I had everything on the conveyor belt, separated based on the vouchers and the food I would be buying that was not on the vouchers. The gal at the checkout scanned everything on the first voucher and started on the second.
A woman dressed in a nice pea coat with curled hair and red lipstick pulled her cart in behind mine and started to load her grocery items on the conveyor belt. I had my vouchers and WIC folder in hand as I was double checking to make sure I had everything. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the look this woman was giving me.
One eyebrow was raised and her lips were pursed as she looked me up and down. It was a look of disgust.
I probably looked like a hot mess. but it had been a long day and I didn’t care to get fully ready to run to the grocery store. I was in black leggings and a long sleeve shirt with my hair pulled back in a ponytail, but I didn’t think that I warranted that kind of a look from a stranger.
But in a split second, as I pulled out my WIC folder again, I realized why she may have been looking at me so disapprovingly. I was using a government program to get food. Maybe it’s just me and this wasn’t the case, but I feel like a lot of people make quick judgments when it comes to programs like these.
The Juice
That is when the cashier said two of the three frozen juices were not WIC-approved. As she figured out how to cancel the scan, I looked to see what was wrong with the juice. I had accidentally grabbed the wrong cans in my rush to get home. To qualify as WIC-approved juice, it must be 100 percent of one fruit. I had picked up a couple of mixed juices like pineapple banana.
The woman behind me anxiously tapped her foot.
The cashier told me I needed to go back and grab the frozen juices that qualified. Well, shoot.
As I turned to run to the back of the store, the woman in the pea coat rolled her eyes, loudly huffed, and angrily (and quite dramatically if I do say so myself) said, “Oh my! Well, ok!” as she began to throw items back in her cart to find another checkout line.
I quietly mumbled my apology for the inconvenience and made my way to the freezer isle.
Lessons Learned
As I quickly walked to the back of the store, I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes.
Wow, why was I so hurt by this woman’s actions?
She didn’t know me. I didn’t know her. She had no clue that I had dealt with a crying and fussy baby the whole day by myself as my husband was at school. She was totally unaware of our financial situation, nor did she know that my husband was in medical school and we both decided that it was best if I stayed home to raise our daughter.
I also had no clue what kind of a day she had been having up to this point.
Her actions were minimal, but to me they screamed judgement and shame. I was already a little self-conscious because of the WIC folder. There was a stigma associated with those who need food assistance and I didn’t want to be part of that. I feared the judgement of others because we use a government program to help provide for our family’s needs.
But as I’ve looked back on this situation, I have learned a few things. One, WIC is there for a purpose. Two, we just don’t know, so don’t judge.
Why WIC in Med School
I battled for awhile whether or not I was going to write this post in the first place. However, I felt like I should share this experience because I’ve learned a lot since using WIC and I want to help breakdown the stigma. So, why WIC?
WIC is there for women. It is there for women when they are in situations that they never dreamed they would be in. It is there for women when they are a single working mom trying to provide for the needs of her kids beyond just the food. It is there for women when they are in situations that put them in a bind financially.
Med school will definitely put you in a bind financially. Basically any undergraduate and postgraduate studies can. The average medical student will graduate from med school with $190,000 in debt. That’s the average. And that’s for a single student, not a small family.
I have always strongly believed that you should work hard to provide for yourself and family. I was raised to avoid debt at all costs.
Up until medical school, I have successfully done so. Now, each semester we are putting ourselves into more debt. We have taken out large student loans to pay for medical school and cost of living.
There are many options to get help financially to pay for tuition and living expenses. WIC can be one of those options to help off set the cost of food.
Why WIC for Us
Jenny, a friend of mine, and her husband graduated from a dental school in Florida. Their family used WIC and SNAP.
“Some of my mom friends decided to work and not do Medicaid and food stamps. A lot of us stayed home with our kids and used government aid. I would encourage anyone to apply and take advantage of not having to worry about feeding your family. It was comforting to know we would have food on the table when we were having to pinch pennies everywhere else. Families should pray about it!”
That’s what we did. We prayed and studied up on ways to reduce the debt we were taking on. We talked about taking out more loans or the alternative of me working. However, those options didn’t seem right for our family.
It didn’t make sense for me to work outside the home only to have a chunk of change go to childcare. I wanted to be home with my daughter. I realize many are unable to be home with their kids, so I count myself blessed.
When we heard about WIC, it was exactly what we needed to off set food costs during medical school.
Once approved, I gained an appreciation for government programs and the good they do after our first couple grocery runs. It gave me peace of mind knowing the basics were covered for us.
It also made me excited for when we can give back to programs like WIC. Jenny said it best.
“Looking back now, we are paying back into the system thousands of dollars a year. We are on our feet and providing for ourselves. We used the program for what they were meant for until we could do it on our own.”
We Just Don’t Know
This experience with the woman in the grocery store also reminded me of an important lesson. We just don’t know, so don’t judge.
As I drove home from the grocery store that day, I thought about how I have made snap judgments about people and I am just as guilty as the woman in the red lipstick.
I also thought of how I guarantee I am not the only WIC mama out there who has felt judged as she uses her monthly vouchers. It made me reflect on the fact that we never really know someone’s circumstances and why they are where they are in their lives.
There are countless people we pass by daily or observe via social media. Some are more well off than others. We don’t know why our friend posted another crazy picture. We don’t know why the grubby looking man is standing on the corner with the sign. We don’t know why a mom may be using WIC. We don’t know the woman with the red lipstick’s story.
It can be very easy to simply say, Oh, that person did that to themselves…. Or, They have such a perfect life… But the truth is we just don’t know.
“This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!
It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters.”
Reminders
Looking back now, this experience wasn’t really a big deal and I moved on. But, I write this in hopes that someone will read it and look at WIC and medical families in a new light. I share my experience as a reminder that we just don’t know, so don’t judge. I also share as a mental note to my future self of the lessons I am learning as we pinch pennies and journey on through medical school.
We all have the potential to be the woman with the red lipstick. To be the one judging our neighbor. The fact of the matter is that we may judge more often than we think we do. So, I plan to apply the following: Stop it.
Have you ever benefited from WIC or simply judged by a stranger? What did you learn from it? Comment below!
You are an amazing woman Kristi . I am so lucky to have you as my niece and you write beautifully and with such wisdom. Love you xx
Thank you for your sweet compliment! I’m the lucky one to have you as my aunt! Sure do love you! xoxo