3 TIPS FOR PREMED COUPLES
Perhaps this first tip invalidates the rest of what I have to say. Regardless—every applicant’s path is different.
Whether the applicant is applying by themselves, as a couple, as a non-traditional applicant, or whatever other circumstances they may have. No matter how similar you may seem to another applicant, do not compare yourself. It will only hurt you.
I heard someone say once that being the best doctor [or applicant, or spouse, etc.] comes from dedicating your time and energy to being your best self, rather than using that time in competition or comparison.
Personal example—so many people told me that I NEEDED “patient exposure” hours to be accepted to medical school. For various reasons, I was never able to get any, and compared myself to other applicants who had hundreds of hours. My application was strong in many other areas, and so I applied anyways. Needless to say, those voices were wrong. I was accepted to multiple programs, and was not hindered by something others told me I lacked.
This piece of advice is for any spouse or partner of a medical school applicant. Trust your spouse/partner.
It was hard for me to be in a position in which my husband’s potential successes and/or failures determined my future. I wanted to exert more control to feel safe. Again and again, I had to remind myself that I did not need to micro-manage his MCAT study, his grades, his applications, his interviews, or his letter of interest/intent.
I needed to step back and let him undergo the application process himself, and trust him in that process. Even though I was scared of the future.
What I guess I’m trying to say is don’t confuse your anxiety/stress about the application process with a need to control or do everything for your partner. However it plays out, it will work out.
This third tip follows somewhat with the last one. There is no true “end of the world.” Even if it doesn’t work out exactly as you hoped, or even remotely as you hoped, you’ll figure out a way to move forward.
That’s what it means to be a human being. We are survivors. I know this perspective is hard to keep, but it really does help with stress. A good exercise is to identify how you would actually handle the situation.
I.e., “What would I do if my flight to this interview was delayed?” … “I would call the school and explain the situation.” … “What if they didn’t allow me to interview?” … “I would recognize that this was an unfortunate situation outside of my control and do my best with other potential interviews.” Etc.
I think this mindset is especially important applying as a couple because there are even more possibilities of the future not working out exactly as you potentially hope.
