THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES APPLYING TO MED SCHOOL AS A COUPLE
The moments in which we weren’t trusting each other, and weren’t united together, were incredibly difficult.
If I started to be frustrated with my husband because I thought he should do a particular part of the application process one way, but he was doing it another way. He would then feel attacked to some degree by me. Which did not help the emotional roller coaster that is the med school application process.
Somewhat similar: don’t make assumptions about your spouse.
Riley began to assume I would want X, Y, & Z without even talking to me about it. I began to assume P, Q & R about him. Trying to be nice to each other, but holding onto those assumptions, caused confusion and sometimes unnecessary conflict. Good communication makes all the difference.
Also, I can’t speak to any other experience than my own, but I think another large challenge for us was the days when we were both down on ourselves and stressed. We would feed off of each other and that would just continue the cycle. We tried to build each other up, but that didn’t happen everyday.
Another big challenge was responding to the questioning that we got regularly, such as, “Have you guys heard anything yet?” It was hard to respond with a “Not yet” over and over again. This example, and many of the other challenges we experienced are standard for med school applicants, I think.
We were lucky in that both our families have been very supportive the entire process. Our friends were also supportive and encouraging. We met with the pre-medical advisor at BYU, and he gave us advice but wanted us to be realistic.
Some of the other faculty members were not supportive; one of the individuals in a leadership role for my major told me that there was no reason for us to both be going to school and that I should pursue nursing instead.
Honestly, the most significant judgments were centered on me wanting to pursue medicine as a female member of my church. I was and still am often asked what I was planning on doing with my children. People told me that I am going to be a bad mother because I am “too selfish to put my future children first.”
I am thankful that I have a strong confirmation that this is the right path for me. But it does get hard to feel the need to regularly justify the validity of my choice, whether to me individually when I’m down on myself, or to others.
