Orange juice. That’s what it took for it to dawn on me. My husband had run to grab us a bite to eat while I frantically worked on a class assignment due that day. When he came back, he handed me an orange juice and bagel. I thanked him and he quietly went back to studying. I drank half of the orange juice and asked if he wanted to finish it off. He declined. That’s when it dawned on me. My husband prefers chocolate milk (which I love too, but not as much as orange juice), but instead of getting the chocolate milk he got the orange juice. I know he loves me when he buys the orange juice instead of the chocolate milk. Romantic, right?
It sounds silly, I know. But it made me realize that sometimes I completely miss the little things that let me know my husband loves me. So right then I started to make a list of “I Know He Loves Me When…”
Let me explain…
Have you heard of The 5 Love Languages? It is a wonderful book written by Gary Chapman. These love languages tend to come up in conversation whenever topics like marriage, love, how to improve your relationships etc. are discussed.
I’ve read bits and pieces of the book and taken the love language test myself. My love language is quality time and physical touch. My husband’s love language is words of affirmation and receiving gifts. We all show and receive love in a different way. The trick is to understanding how to use your love language and understand others’ to connect.
My husband and I have talked multiple times about showing our love for each other in the other’s primary love language. I’ve been working hard at trying to verbalize my love, confidence, and appreciation for my husband. I was also paying a bit too much attention to the kind of love I was wanting to receive from my husband. Which ended up badly as I was creating expectations that I hadn’t verbalized.
That’s when I remembered we all naturally show love differently. Hence, the orange juice. This small action could have easily gone unnoticed. He certainly could have bought the chocolate milk and I would have been just as happy. But the orange juice let me know he was thinking of my happiness.
I didn’t want to miss one of these moments or take for granted my husband just because he doesn’t show his love for me exactly how I imagine he should. So I started a “I Know He Loves Me When…” List. It has opened my eyes to just how much my husband loves and cares for me. It helps me avoid falling into the oh so easy trap of “Why doesn’t he do x, y, or z.” Here are just a few on my list.
I Know He Loves Me When…
- He buys the orange juice instead of the chocolate milk
- He tells me I’m beautiful often (I tend to brush it off and say something like “Oh really…” I need to work on accepting compliments!)
- He brings in reinforcements with my favorite foods to help me get over senioritis
- He does other types of workouts with me even when I know he doesn’t like that type of workout (Zumba, swimming, cardio in general)
- He is willing to watch chick flicks with me
- He asks me how my day was and actually wants to know
- He cooks dinner with me
- He sends me texts through out the day to check in
- He puts up with me when I tickle him (hehe…)
- He takes a dance class with me because I wanted to
- He reads my blog posts and helps edit my writing (even though he hates writing)
Make your own “I Know He or She Loves Me When…” List. Write it. Type it. Photograph it. Do it! I promise it will help you recognize how much you are truly loved. How does your loved one show they love you?
