The holidays during medical school can be rough. This was the first year we didn’t spend any of the holidays with family. Being 1,121 miles from my hometown and 611 miles from Blade’s hometown, I knew juggling travel with a dog and a baby and a med student around the holidays would be difficult.
Not impossible, but difficult.
Instead of taking a Christmas vacation for Blade’s selective, we chose to stay in Rochester so he could shadow various physicians. This allows him to build up vacation time so we can visit family, play, and relax for longer than a week.
Selectives
For those unfamiliar with selectives, the Mayo Clinic Alix School of Medicine explains.
“As part of Year 1 and Year 2 curriculum, selectives are dedicated 1-2 week curriculum blocks that enable students to experience the self-directed approach behind the design of the medical curriculum, emphasizing personal responsibility for the learning experience.”
To break down what selectives at the Mayo Clinic can look like…
- 16 weeks during the first two years of medical school are set aside as required selectives.
- Out of the 16 weeks, students can choose to do four longitudinal selectives. These do not have to be completed in one week.
- 12 weeks during the first two years can be vacation.
- Some examples of selectives include shadowing, research, reading, career exploration, international travel to undeserved populations, vacation, and other opportunities.
Many med students choose to use a selective week around the holidays as vacation time. This first year, we chose to knock out a couple of the 16 required selectives instead.
Holidays During Medical School
Not being able to be with family physically and participate in family parties and Christmas programs was…well…sad.
It’s hard living far away from family. You miss things like birthdays, holidays, funerals, and more.
My grandfather passed away just after Thanksgiving and I was unable to fly out on such short notice. I longed to be with my family during their traditional family swim during Christmas break. We missed the delicious food that Blade’s mom cooks during Thanksgiving and the fun with his entire family during Christmas.
During medical school, we will miss a lot things.
Although
However, not all is missed out on. Not all is lonely throughout the holidays during medical school.
Although I couldn’t make it to my grandfather’s funeral, my family included me via Marco Polo. This amazing video chat app allowed me to have a personal last viewing of my grandpa and say goodbye virtually. It allowed me to hear my family and extended family share their sweet memories of our grandpa.
Although I couldn’t jump in the pool with my daughter and let her swim with her cousins, my family again sent me Marco Polos through out the Christmas break get together. Calling the family on Facebook messenger for a quick hello added a bonus.
Although we couldn’t taste the delicious food that Blade’s mom cooked, frequent video chats kept us in the loop. Thanks to technology we also participated in the yearly Christmas Eve program. Plus, Blade’s family surprised us with a post-Christmas visit!
Make Memories
Spending the holidays with our little family of four was special. It was our daughter’s first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Celebration.
We tried to fill our days with fun activities. Some just included me, my daughter, and our dog Tucker. Others included Blade and friends.
Thanksgiving Day she was running a fever of 101, but she downed her rolls, sweet potatoes, and turkey.
December 1 brought our first big Minnesota snowstorm. I loved seeing the wonder in her eyes as watched the snow falling around her.
During Christmas, she loved pulling the ornaments off the tree, but wasn’t quite interested in opening her presents. Blade and I continued our tradition of making ornaments that described the year’s big events.
Thankfully, we have made some good friends here in Rochester who we have been able to celebrate the holidays with. From Friendsgiving, Christmas Brinner, and Minute to Win games for a NYE party, we have been blessed to be surrounded by good company.
This Stage
It could have been easy to make up my mind that holidays during medical school were going to be lonely. That I would be missing out on all of my family’s traditions. But then I would have missed out on all that this stage of life has to offer.
As hard as it was being away from family during the holidays, we found sweet moments we could only have at this stage in life. For that, I will always be grateful. We are only in medical school once after all.
You got this! I just found you on insta from 3 in 30 highlighting you. We’re 4th year med students, and just had our 5th over Christmas. I read your WIC post and just felt for you and your feelings at the store. Felt all that. It’s hard. Keep seeing the positive because you are really great at it.
Thank you for your sweet comment! I’m so glad you found me! I’d love to connect on Instagram with you. I’ll see if I can find ya. You’re almost done and on to residency!! So exciting. How has med school been for y’all?
Thank you for your positive vibes. I try to see the positive aspects of things, writing about it helps me to do so otherwise pretty sure I’d get stuck in a rut!
This is so sweet and you have a beautiful family! I am totally in that phase right now (just finished 3rd year) of appreciating everyone we met and our little life we created. Our family is in CA and we are in NC, completely bi-coastal. It is so hard, but I took the same mindset you did when it came to holidays. However, with residency decisions coming up fast, I wonder if it is a coping mechanism to mask the actual sadness of wanting to be with family. We love our NC life and don’t want to leave, but if we go back to CA (where we hate the environment), are we making the right choice? We will be close to family and friends, which fills my cup. But, NC feels like home. I kind of feel like the CA life was a death I had to experience to fully appreciate NC. With this next big decision coming up, would you prioritize family over location happiness? In my heart, I know family is #1 and makes us the most happy, but change is HUGE and drives me crazy.
Hey Haley! Oh thank you! You’re so sweet! Wow, that would be so hard to be on literally the complete opposite sides of the country from your family! But I’m so glad you’ve come to love life in NC! I’ve heard it is beautiful there. We actually have a couple friends in NC too at Campbell and they love it. Oh man, my heart aches for you because I totally feel ya! I am loving Minnesota, BUT I do long to be closer to family so I’m not missing so much.
My husband and I were actually just talking about residency and what our future might be in three years (since today is Match Day). You are much closer to that big decision than us! It’s definitely a hard one! Something we’ve talked about is that closeness distance wise doesn’t always equal quality in relationships. I feel like distance has a knack for making the time we have with our family that much more special. I actually probably talk more with my mom now than when we lived an hour away! Obviously there are pros and cons to the choices of being close to family or location happiness. But there are definitely ways to get a win win and prioritize family and location happiness, the prioritization just might look different at each actual location. More trips planned to visit (NC) or discovering new places to live/explore that you could learn to love (CA). Ugh, such a hard decision!! What do you think? Are you looking at residencies to interview at right now?
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