Had you told my 20-year-old-self that I would leave my beloved Utah State, transfer to two schools, and graduate from BYU as a Cougar, I would have shook my head, laughed, and vigorously said, Nope!
But God has a way of knowing the experiences, the people, and the places we need to go to become who we need to be (Even if it took me six years to graduate!).
If there is anything I’ve learned from my crazy journey, it is this.
Trust God.
Believe me, I know this is often easier said than done. I still am learning the whole walk by faith principle and I’d like to say that I am getting better at it.
A Bit of Background
Now, to fully understand why or how I was converted from a true blooded Aggie to a Cougar, I want to share a few lessons where I learned to trust God’s plan over mine. But first, I feel I need to explain some key principles I believe in when it comes to having faith and trusting in God’s plan.
I truly believe that God fully expects us to come up with goals and to make plans to reach those goals. I don’t think He often works with idle minds or hands. He expects us to bring a plan to Him and say, Ok, here is what I got. I’m going for it. It is then that I have found I feel of His approval or disapproval of my plan of action.
I would say it is pretty rare for me to have received a direct yes or no in response to my prayers. He wants us to use our gift of agency to make decisions for ourselves and He will “nudge” us here or there. It is our choice whether we listen to those nudges from God or not.
In the same breath, God honors our agency, even if we screw up. It is our challenge to be willing and flexible with our plans to align them with God’s plans. Yet, too often, I find myself saying, Please, tell me what to do! I am sure I am not alone in that request.
On a cold night in December of 2013, I had a pretty clear nudge from God about my plans and I ignored it.
Lesson Number One
I was in Yakima, Washington in my second to last transfer of my 18-month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Almost two years previous, I had decided I was going to serve a church service mission. “A crazy decision,” according to my adviser at USU because I was a year away from graduating. But a decision I knew I needed to make nonetheless.
So, there I was in Yakima, minding my own business and getting ready for bed after a long, cold day. I was writing in my journal when out of no where I had the very clear thought, You need to look into BYU.
My first reaction was Where in the world did that thought come from?? My second reaction was Haha, that’s a funny thought and umm, no thank you. But the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. It nagged on me for days.
Finally, in a KFC after a dinner appointment fell through, I asked my companion what she thought about it. She said I should make a pros and cons list. Of course! I just needed to lay it all out there. So, we sat down with our biscuits and mashed potatoes-chicken-gravy bowls and began making the list.
With a degree almost finished, scholarship offers, awesome roommates, and boys I had my eyes on, it was obvious that the pros of USU out weighed the pros of BYU. I must have been out of my mind for even considering transferring schools. So, I put the thought of BYU out of my mind and moved on. I was set. I would go to USU, finish my degree, eventually get married, and live happily ever after. Logan, Utah was my home away from home. I loved USU. Why would I ever leave it? I didn’t want to anyway, so it didn’t matter.
Lesson one. Listen to and follow those “nudges” of inspiration the first time.
Lesson Number Two
Fast-forward to March 2014. I remember it very distinctly. It was the Monday after I had returned home from the mission. I was studying the scriptures on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was still a bit chilly in the mornings so I loved soaking up the heat that radiated from the fire. I was reading the Book of Mormon when, yet again, out of no where, the thought came, but more direct. You need to go to BYU.
I stopped reading.
Are you joking me? No. Why?
Immediately, tears filled my eyes and I’d hate to say it, but I was so angry! I did not want to go to BYU. It didn’t make any sense. Why would I leave Utah State? I loved it there.
Yet, this direct thought of “You need to go to BYU” was not my own. It did not come from me. It came from a loving God nudging me along, and I knew it. I couldn’t ignore it this time.
With tear-filled eyes, I looked down at my scriptures in my lap. My eyes landed on the page where I had just been reading. 1 Nephi 17:13.
“And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.”
A comfort filled my body and I knew it would all work out, but I had no clue how. This wasn’t part of my plan and completely new territory. All I knew was God would be my light in the wilderness. He was preparing a way for me. Looking back now, I know that it was by Him that I was led. I know I will continue to be led to “my promise land”.
Lesson two. Listen and act on the nudges. It will be worth it.
Second Guesses
So, as if that blunt out-of-the-blue thought wasn’t enough, I needed to make sure it was right. Dumb, I know. I’m fairly sure God must have been chuckling as He watched me the next few weeks. Humor me. I was still in denial.
I went to work and made another pros and cons list. Utah State on one side. BYU on the other. It was equipped with school tuition, years left, transferring credits, program information, and a hefty notes section. I still applied for the department scholarships I was up for at USU, all the while I begrudgingly filled out the application for BYU.
I even called the admissions office to talk to them about transferring to BYU and what credits the university would and wouldn’t take. Leaving out the details, I explained I was a senior and had well over 90 credits. Want to know what they told me?
I should not even apply.
Great. According to them, transferring to BYU was difficult and especially for those with as many credits as I had. They said I had a very little chance of being accepted.
Just wonderful. I remember thinking, was this even right? Am I really supposed to transfer? To make things even more conflicting, I found out Utah State awarded me a full-tuition scholarship.
However, God was kind to me and gave me some pretty clear nudges over the next month.
Lesson Number Three and Four
First, I visited some friends up in Logan and you know what? It didn’t feel like home. I still loved it, but something was off.
Second, I went to an art exhibit at the Museum of Art at BYU with my parents. As we drove on to the campus, I had the strangest thought and feeling that I would soon be living here and attending school here.
Third, in steps my future husband. Within my first two weeks home, we went on a first date. Guess where he lived? Provo, Utah. Guess where he was going to school? Brigham Young University. Coincidence? I think not. We hit it off and by the second date I immediate knew I had to see where this relationship would go. (I even remember him saying, “I’d be stupid if I didn’t try to pursue something with you.”)
I finally gave into the idea that I wouldn’t be attending USU. My application for BYU was officially submitted and I felt like it was the right course of action. But then came the email. I had been denied.
I was so confused, but still felt strongly that I needed to attend BYU. They said my application was late, which is why I was denied. They invited me to reapply for the next semester. So I did.
In the case I didn’t get into BYU, I also applied for Utah Valley University (located a few miles from BYU), which I was accepted into a few weeks later.
Two weeks before starting school at UVU in the fall of 2014, I received an email congratulating me because I was accepted into BYU for the winter 2015 semester – DESPITE being told not to apply.
On a funny, semi-ironic note, had I applied the first time God told me to look into BYU, I would have likely gotten in because I wouldn’t have missed the deadline.
Lesson three. Listen the first time. Lesson four. God opens doors and windows for you to get where you need to be.
Long Story Short
The spring and summer flew by. Blade and I were engaged in July and set a date for October 17, 2014 to be married. I attended the fall semester of 2014 at UVU and transferred to BYU for the winter semester of 2015.
My first semester at BYU I hated it. I know that’s terrible to say, but I did. I had to apply to the public relations program as a senior with a bunch of freshman, retake classes, and adjust to the competitive nature of BYU students.
But things started to come together and I slowly began to understand why I needed to transfer to BYU. By some miracle, I was accepted into the competitive PR program for the fall of 2015 and made some amazing connections with professors and friends. I eventually learned to love the campus and I am proud to say I graduated from Brigham Young University in April of 2017.
My plan before transferring to BYU was good, but it wasn’t great. God’s plan was great. In fact, it was better than great! The people I met, the classes I took, the professors I connected with, the capstone experience I needed, the man I married… It was all part of His greater plan to help me reach my potential and learn the lessons I needed to prepare for what is to come in the future as a mother and wife of a medical student.
I now understand a bit more intimately that “God truly is determined to make more of us than we thought we could be.” All He asks is that we simply trust. Trust Him enough to ask, seek, knock, and act. If we do so, He surely will open doors and windows for us.
Want to learn more about my faith?
Visit lds.org or mormon.org
You are amazing and such a wonderful example to me❤️Love this!