I recently was asked to speak in my church and was given the topic of “Drawing Closer to the Savior,” a talk given by Elder Neil L. Andersen in the 2022 October General Conference. I’ve always enjoyed preparing talks for church because it gives me an opportunity to dive a bit deeper into the gospel of Jesus Christ. Plus, I just learn more by writing.
I had felt unsure about the direction I took my talk before I gave it in front of our congregation. I usually have a very solid written out talk (word for word, I don’t like just talking off bullet points), but this one felt incomplete. However, after I gave my talk and the meeting concluded, a few of the members of the congregation came up and thanked me for the message I shared. Most of them moms. They all said it really resonated with them and had good reminders and gems for moms in all stages.
So, I thought I’d share my talk through my blog. I’ve made some additions and adjustments so as to fit this medium. I hope as you read, you will find it encouraging and know that you are not alone in the struggles of motherhood.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you want to learn more about what I believe, visit ComeUntoChrist.org or ChurchofJesusChrist.org. Or send me a message and I’d love to answer your questions and share more!
DRAWING CLOSER TO THE SAVIOR AS A MOTHER
I recently heard a story that caught my attention. There once was a dad who’s youngest daughter does gymnastics. He had taken her to practice and sat in the stands waiting for practice to finish. His phone died. He began to watch his daughter and about every two to three minutes he noticed that she would make eye contact with him. This happens once, twice, three times. She continued to do this every two to three minutes for an hour. She would look over and make eye contact with him to see if her Daddy was looking.
He looks around notices that there are a ton of other kids looking at their parents to see if they’re watching them. And all these parents are looking at their phones. He said…
“I wonder how many times my daughter has looked over at me to find my eyes, only to see me distracted. I had that thought just for a second. But then God in his goodness and kindness, lifted my eyes a little bit higher than myself and he said… ‘Aren’t you glad I don’t get distracted? Aren’t you glad that you’re not a distraction to me? That every time you look at me, my eyes are set on you. Whatever you’re going through, whatever’s been going on in your life, good, bad, apathetic, complacent, hard, success, crushing it…God’s eyes are set on you and he loves you.”
Audio by @jobypmartin
When I heard this story, my first impression was a desire to be more present with my kids, but then I also had a desire to be more present and close to God. I know God is always aware of me (sometimes it may not feel like it), but His eyes are set on me and He loves me.
So, I pose this question, how can we set our eyes on God and our Savior and draw closer to them?
The Wheat and the Tares
Elder Neil L. Andersen talks about this topic in the Oct. 2022 General Conference. As I was preparing this talk, I felt like I should direct my talk to the women, grandmothers, and especially the moms in the congregation. But that doesn’t mean and of you men reading this should should stop, because you might learn a thing or two that God may want you to learn. Or maybe your wife would like you to know too. Or that would be my hope.
Elder Andersen begins his talk with the parable of the wheat and the tares…
“The Lord explained that in this final time prior to His return, the ‘wheat,’ whom He describes as ‘the children of the kingdom,’5 would grow side by side with the ‘tares,’ or those who do not love God and do not keep His commandments. They would ‘both grow together,’6 side by side.
You may at times not feel like a strong, mature strand of wheat. Be patient with yourself! The Lord said that the wheat would include tender blades springing up.8 We are all His Latter-day Saints, and although not yet all we want to be, we are serious in our desire to be His true disciples.“
When I read this, this part really stood out to me. Since becoming a mom, I oftentimes have not felt like a strong, mature strand of wheat. Motherhood is exhausting. It’s hard to find a quiet space for yourself when raising small children. (and at least for me to want to find a space to connect with God. even thought should be the opposite. Because sometimes I just want to disconnect from everything. Because it is overstimulating being a mom. – even writing this talk, I found myself being constantly interrupted) And even when they are grown and things shift, you take on a new set of worries and challenges. I have felt broken, weak, and sometimes a bit lost or lacking when it comes to “being strong in the gospel”.
Andersen continues…
“We realize that as evil increases in the world, our spiritual survival, and the spiritual survival of those we love, will require that we more fully nurture, fortify, and strengthen the roots of our faith in Jesus Christ…
Being a disciple is more than a one-time decision—more than a one-time event. It is a sacred, ongoing process that grows and expands through the seasons of our lives, continuing until we kneel at His feet.”
Anderson gives three thoughts on how we can deepen and strengthen our commitment to the Savior in the days ahead…
- Immerse Ourselves in the Life of Jesus
- Make Covenants with the Lord
- Safeguard the Gift of the Holy Ghost
Mindset Shift #1: Seeing motherhood as an essential way of becoming a disciple of Christ
I highly suggest reading the points above, but I would like to add two mindset shifts to this list that a mother or parent can implement to draw closer to the Savior or to help set our eyes on God.
These mindset shifts are things I am working on. They are what helped me get through this past summer where I basically was single parenting for six months while my husband was on away rotations for med school. When I often felt lacking, alone, and failing in many aspects.
I know as a mother, I often feel like I can’t immerse myself in the life of Christ. I use to be able to when I didn’t have little hands pulling at me or little voices screaming at me. But there is a woman on Instagram who’s name is Emily Wilson and I love her perspective on how she immerses herself as a mom.
“I speak to many who tell me they were holier before they had children, when they had lots of time to pray, journal, reflect, study, or visit a chapel in quiet…This is what I tell them…
When you are loving your children you are loving God. When you are serving your children you are serving God.
I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you took care of me.
When I decided to find Christ in the faces of my children, and make every task to care for them an offering and a prayer. It changed everything.”
This is not always easy to do when you feel like you’re just surviving or your kids are fighting, you’re at your wits end, and it’s the hours between 3-7pm.
But it can help us find purpose in the mundane and help us set our eyes on the Savior and draw closer to Him.
So, whether you have kids or you’re dealing with issues at work or family and friends, we can strive to find Christ in the faces of those we meet.
Mindset Shift #2: The Savior Comes to Me
I think sometimes that we forget God is an individual who can walk toward us too. We often have this mindset of “It’s on my shoulders to have a relationship with God. I’ve got to do x, y, z to be a ‘strong blade of wheat’ or disciple of Christ.” All of these things which are important and great! And things we can strive to do to become a faithful disciple of Christ.
But we sometimes find ourselves saying, “If I’m not doing x, y, z, I am lacking. I am a weak. I am a thin blade of wheat per say.”
But God is much more gracious than that.
A relationship is a two way street and God will meet me where I am at. Because in different seasons of life, we may not be able to “be as holy” or “go to God like we would like to or have done in the past.”
So, here comes that mindset shift…
Heather Farrell writes about women in the scriptures and I just love what she shared. I hope it will resonate with you too…
“Have you ever noticed how in the scriptures men are always going up into the mountains to commune with god? Yet in the scriptures we hardly ever hear of women going to the mountains, and we know why—right?
Because the women were too busy keeping life going; they couldn’t abandon babies, meals, homes, fires, gardens, and a thousand responsibilities to make the climb into the mountains!
I was complaining about this to a friend the other day, saying that even as a modern woman I feel like I’m never “free” enough from my responsibilities, never in a quiet enough, or holy enough spot to have the type of communion I want with God. Her response floored me, “That is why God comes to women. Men have to climb the mountain to meet God, but God comes to women where ever they are.”
I have been pondering on her words for weeks and have searched my scriptures to see that what she said is true. God does in deed come to women where they are, when they are doing their ordinary, everyday work.
He meets them at the wells where they draw water for their families, in their homes, in their kitchens, in their gardens. He comes to them as they sit beside sickbeds, as they give birth, care for the elderly, and perform necessary mourning and burial rites.
Even the women at the empty tomb, who were the first to witness Christ’s resurrection, were only there because they were doing the womanly chore of properly preparing Christ’s body for burial. In this seemingly mundane and ordinary task these women found themselves face to face with divinity.
So if— like me—you ever start to bemoan the fact that you don’t have as much time to spend in the mountains with God as you would like. Remember, God comes to women. He knows where we are and the burdens we carry. He sees us, and if we open our eyes and our hearts we will see Him, even in the most ordinary places and in the most ordinary things.”
Heather Farrell
He does indeed meet us where we are. I have seen this and felt this. Especially the last two years as we faced trials like we never before thought we would. An emergency C-section, two cancer diagnosis, not Matching into a medical residency, and single parenting for six months as we were apart for away rotations.
He is aware of us. He has His eyes on us. And He does not get distracted… He loves us. So, of course, He will meet us where we are all at. It’s recognizing Him that is the key.
Conclusion
I know that as we work on shifting our mindsets and allow your love for the Savior and His love for you to sink deep into your heart, we will surely have peace and joy in meeting the challenges of life. Our roots will be strengthened and we will become strong strand of wheat and disciple of Christ. Our eyes will become set on God and our Savior and feel closer to them for it.
As you read, what thoughts did you have? How can you draw closer to Christ as a Mother or Father? What changes or mindset shifts will you make in your life today?
Want to learn more about my faith? Check out ComeUntoChrist.org or shoot me a message!
